Therapy specializations
I can help …
Is it hard for you to know what you want? Are you afraid of conflict? Do you wish you could feel calm instead of anxious? Are you too hard on yourself? Do you find it easier to be kind to others than to yourself? Do you hate yourself or your body, or feel insecure? Do you wish you could stop “people-pleasing”? Does getting through the day feel like a chore? Do you wish you could have more energy?
If you are struggling with any of these problems, you may feel frustrated, out of control, unhappy, full of doubt, stuck or trapped, and powerless. You may feel as if your life is happening to you — as if you are not in charge of your own life.
I specialize in helping people who struggle with anxiety, toxic or codependent relationships, self-esteem, depression, and trauma.
People I work with report feeling more confident, sure of themselves, calm, empowered to take charge of their lives, and more energetic, instead of being held back by these problems.
Find the love and companionship you desire and deserve
Are you at a point in your life where you realize you have wasted a lot of time or even years in toxic relationships? Have you found yourself repeating the same old unhealthy relationship patterns and want to figure out why and how to end this pattern so you find the love you want? Do you feel as if you are waking up from a deep slumber and wondering “how did I get here?” Do you feel it is time for a change?
You may be in a toxic, co-dependent relationship.
Signs you might be in a toxic/co-dependent relationship
Your relationship feels like a ride on a wild emotional rollercoaster of intense love & longings, frustration, anxiety, anger, lashing out, and lack of fulfillment. You obsessively think about your partner wondering over and over, “why can’t they get it”. Being gaslit has left you feeling tired, exhausted, and full of self-doubt. You have endured suffering, you have compromised, you know there are problems in the relationship. To fix the problems you keep “changing” yourself hoping that this will resolve the problems. But the problems persist as does your changing yourself. Ready to end this cycle? Contact_me.
For more, see my Insight articles, “What Is a Toxic Relationship?”
The benefits of self-assurance
The other day I was speaking with someone who asked me how I would sum up self-esteem.
I said, ”It is the relationship you have with yourself. It is the most important relationship you will ever have. This relationship is everything. It is the GPS of your life.”
It determines how you live your life, what you will accomplish in your life, your outcomes, and even your relationships.
So, what is self-esteem?
Your self-esteem is your self-perception. It is the identity you have taken. This identity either makes you act with confidence or it fills you with insecurity and anxiety.
When you feel insecure the world can feel like a hostile place. A place where very few people like you.
The world can feel like a place where others reject, judge, or criticize you. A place that can make it difficult for you to venture out of your home to go to social places. Social interactions become painful. The world becomes a fearful place, where you are afraid to ask for what you want.
You may find yourself coming up with excuses to miss social events to not ask for your needs to be met. You may your turn off your camera during Zoom staff meetings.
When you are filled with insecurity you get tongue tied in front of other people. This happens even when you are knowledgeable in the topic of discussion. You may also get tongue-tied when in a conflict with someone, only for the things you could have said come back after the conflict is over.
You feel unseen, unheard, ignored, uncared for, rejected, criticized, etc.,
You do not feel good enough. You are filled with self-doubt.
When you feel like you are not good enough, you may retreat, hide yourself, and withdraw from life.
If you see yourself and as not being good enough, or as incompetent, it is irrelevant how intelligent you are.
You will act as if you are less intelligent or less competent. Why? Because you act the way you see yourself or believe yourself to be. You act according to your self-identity.
Other people’s reassurances of your value, worth, beauty, or intelligence will not work. This is because you have assumed the identity of an incompetent person.
Inadvertently and often unconsciously, you will seek evidence and do things to support the identity you have assumed. But this undermines who you truly are.
Although it can feel as if you have no control over your self-esteem, the reality is that you do. You are NOT doomed to go through life this way. Insecurity does not need to be a life-sentence.
You can change your self-esteem. You can go from lacking self-confidence to being a confident person.
Many people have done it and so can you.
If you are struggling with low self-esteem, I can help. Contact_me.
Experience long-term relief from anxiety
Do you feel as if anxiety has hijacked your body and left you feeling out of control, jittery, or restless? Would you like to feel calm instead of anxious, so you can participate in your life more fully?
Perhaps anxiety has caused you to have panic attacks or sleepless nights. Maybe anxiety has sent you to the ER fearing you are having a heart attack, or left you worried there is something wrong with you. Perhaps anxiety makes you shake when you have a conflict with another person, or stops you from having difficult but important conversations.
Get your energy and life back
Major Depression is a serious disabling illness. It has been said that Major Depression is one of the worst diseases anybody can suffer from.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO) 280 million people, suffer from depression. Depression is a leading cause of disability.
Depression causes immense psychological suffering.Depression crushes, weakens, and paralyzes people, leaving them alone, isolated, unable to care for themselves, and unable to function in life. Depression ruins lives. It persists long after its trigger is no longer present in your life.
Anhedonia (lack of pleasure) is a defining feature of depression. Other symptoms are despair, immense guilt, grief, problems with sleep and appetite, lethargy, loss of motivation, and thoughts of self-harm.
There isn’t a single cause for depression. Interaction of biological, psychological, and environmental factors are implicated in depression. Adverse life experiences have been shown to have a significant connection with depression. To get started on the road to recovery, contact_me.
Re-think trauma
When you hear the word trauma, what comes to your mind? My guess is that it’s PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Your mind may even conjure up images of violence, war, or violent acts when you hear the word trauma.
But did you know that trauma includes both “big-T” Traumas such as those (life threatening) that warrant a PTSD diagnosis and “small-t” traumas (experiences) which you might not think of as trauma?
A non-comprehensive list of small-t traumas includes: sexual abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, death of a significant person in your life, heart-breaking break-ups, neglect, harassment, racial / gender discrimination, being bullied, growing up in a family with mental health or substance use problems, instability due to parental separation, witnessing violence, or having a family member attempt or die by suicide.
“Small-t” traumas are often dismissed or treated as insignificant. However, prolonged exposure to these traumas has been found to be as equally or even more emotionally detrimental than exposure to “big-T” Traumas. For help healing from your traumas, big-T or small-t, contact_me.
It is not a moral question: It Is what drugs/alcohol/food are doing for you
Don’t you hate it when people view problematic use of substances / addictions as a sign of moral weakness or failure?
Fear of or being judged may have prevented you from seeking help. It may be why you hide your problem and suffer in silence.
More than likely, you have tried to stop on your own but have not had much success, except perhaps for a short time.
The issue is not about the substances themselves; rather, it is about what they are doing for you. They may help you soothe emotional or even physical pain, at least in the short run; but if the hurt outweighs the benefits long term, it’s time to seek out a healthier way to find comfort. Whether you use substances as a crutch for handling a mental health condition or you are going through difficult times facing a loss, a break-up, or another adverse life experience, you can recover without risking your health with substances. If you are ready to end the self-perpetuating cycle of suffering, contact_me.
